Time out . . .
Simmer down children, naughty Jeremy, naughty Clive, naughty Joe, naughty Lara (and friends), naughty Bob and naughty all those commenting from other countries. Joanne to the front of the class please and a box of chocolates for you.
It's nice to know that there are others out there who are fed up with all this squabbling — to the naughty corner with the lot of you.
Of course there is always the nuclear option: cancel our subscriptions.